Archive for the ‘life’ Category

wait - you’re joking, right?

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

The other day, the husband and I noticed that our new next-door neighbors had put rock in their flowerbed.  It’s a lovely rock, nice marble chips - but it is, nonetheless, banned.  By our over-protective HOA.

I finally caught one of the neighbors outside, and let him know the error of his ways.  He looked at me with a blank look when I told him rocks in landscaping were against HOA rules.  As I explained to him my HOA struggles, he suddenly registered what I was saying, and he stopped me with a flabbergasted, ‘Wait - you’re joking, right?’ 

I assured him that I was indeed being truthful, and I just wanted to warn them that the HOA may, at some future date, send them a nasty letter.

I still don’t think he believed me.  Here’s hoping he’s spared the fate of dealing with the HOA.

the cat picks mccain

Monday, November 3rd, 2008

The other night while I was watching politically minded tv, Forge slept soundly through Obama’s half-hour love fest.  When it was Mccain’s turn on Larry King, however, Forge jumped right up on the edge of the coffee table to get a better look.  He watched intently, and even stuck around for a minute or two after Mccain left in the hopes that he’d come back.

(I’m serious about that - Forge watches Meerkat Manor and the Dog Whisperer, and is somewhat aware of commercial breaks and that if he just waits it out, the show comes back.)

So, there you have it.  Forge 4 Mccain.  Of course, Forge also poops in sinks and eats bits of not-food off the floor - so I suppose it’s a good thing his vote doesn’t count.

fever, shmever

Wednesday, October 15th, 2008

I woke up not feeling great this morning, so I dug out the thermometer to check my temperature.

96.3 degrees.

I have an anti-fever.  I did a quick check on the internetz, and 96 degrees is a valid, normal, healthy human temperature.  Especially for a first-thing-in-the-morning temp.

Ok, no fever.  I’m still calling in sick.

entirely too bony

Monday, October 13th, 2008

On the flight to L.A., I read a book.  And in the process, I managed to bruise my left jutty-out pelvic bone with my left elbow.  For whatever reason, it seemed like a good idea to rest my bony elbow on my bony self to prop up my book.  (That wasn’t even that good, btw.  The third Odd Thomas book is not one of Mr. Koontz finer works.)

5 hours later, I had a most tender hip.

Excuse me, I think I need to go eat a sandwich …

sweaters and boots

Thursday, October 2nd, 2008

I love this weather!  Time to break out the sweaters and boots.  And the jackets!  Can’t forget the jackets.

kids say the darndest things

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

Conversation I never thought I’d have with two 9-year-old boys:

me: <breaks up horseplay between two of my students, scratching one with my ring in the process>

li’l n: Oh, wow! Is that a diamond?

me: Yes, it’s a diamond.

me in my head: Because I’m a MARRIED GROWN UP LADY and we wear such things on our hands.

li’l g: Oh, is that white gold?

me: No, it’s platinum.

li’l g: Oh wow, that’s better than white gold. <5 minute discourse on white gold, the nickel it contains, why wouldn’t you want your gold to just look like gold>

li’l n: <inspects my ring closely> Oh, it’s just like my mom’s.

me in my head: Exactly. Because I am old enough to be your mom.

not the only one

Thursday, September 18th, 2008

As I made my way from the parking lot to my building the other morning, I noticed one of my colleagues running up the steps.

Maybe it’s contagious …

things no one ever tells you

Thursday, September 4th, 2008

I was hoping I’d outgrow my oxy 10 before I started plucking the grays, but, alas, it’s not to be.  How can my head be so conflicted?  How can it still be producing plenty of t-zone shine when it’s already starting to give up on that pesky hair color?

Ah, well, I guess that’s what Ms. Clairol is for.

when I grow up?

Sunday, August 24th, 2008

Today in my sunday school class, my nine-year-olds decided they wanted to discuss what they wanted to be when they grew up.  Turns out, I have a future video game programmer, lawyer and composer in my class.  (In his defense, li’l g wants to be a lawyer because that’s what his dad is - and since he’s only 9, his dad is his hero.  It’ll be interesting to see what he wants to be when he’s 13 …)

I know it shouldn’t catch me off guard, but one of the kids asked me what I wanted to be.  You know, when I grow up.

Instead of telling them I wanted to be a travel-writer (which would be so totally awesome - but I’m pretty sure that doesn’t actually pay any sort of bills), I informed them that I was grown up and I was a software engineer.  (A SENIOR software engineer at that!  I apparently just made the jump with years of experience, that’s my new job title at my new job!)

Ironically, the programmer-to-be wrinkled his nose and asked what that was.  Li’l g informed him that it had to do with computers, and I said that yes, I write computer software.  I think it caught the kids by surprise - both that I was really a grown-up AND that I had such a serious-sounding job.

Hopefully now they’ll remember that I’m a real-live grown up.  Old enough, even, to be their mother.

flexibility, shmexibility

Saturday, August 16th, 2008

The husband and I recently joined a gym (yay for us!!) and we went in this week for our free fitness profile.  They asked us bunches of questions (them: how active are your jobs?  us:  um, we sit in front of computers all day.  but we move our arms!  and hands and fingers!), pinched our skin fats, took our weights and measurements, and then it was time for the physical tests.

hahahahahaha!

I’m proud to say, we survived it!  And I have to say, I think we did quite well, considering the fact that we have done little more than sit for the last 6 years.  Sure, sometimes I vacuum or walk through the grocery store - but that’s about all the physical activity my life demands these days.

I survived 15 minutes on the treadmill, did 28 sit-ups in a minute, and did 20 (girl) push-ups before my arms started shaking so much I feared I might find myself square on my face.

But then there was the flexibility test.

I have never, in my life, been able to touch my toes.  When I’ve worked on it for months, I can get kinda close - like the lower part of my shin.  When I was 8 and working on my presidential fitness stuff - I could do the mile, the sit-ups, more pull-ups than any of the other girls - but the darn flexibility test was just impossible.  I remember being met with disbelief when I stretched as far as I could go, when my legs were trembling with the strain, my knees begging to bend, and my fingertips were still nowhere near my toes.

So I failed the flexibility test miserably.  Couldn’t even register on their little measurement device, I think I only made it just past my knees.

I’ve never believed much in the whole touch-your-toes test, I guess because I’ve never been able to.  I don’t think it’s kept me from accomplishing anything physical that I’ve ever wanted to.  I’ve hiked up and down mountains, done round-house kicks, managed to get 80-pound boxes into my house.  The only thing I’ve missed out on is, well, the satisfaction of touching my toes.